sugar mama

we may be the first generation where not all men feel compelled to be the sole breadwinner of the family. the odd thing is, as their breadwinning responsibilities shrink, their housekeeping and parenting responsibilities have apparently not grown in proportion. so says a New York Times article on how rare it is to find couples who share their homemaking equally.

(remember when the housewife's professional name changed to "homemaker"? when did we change that to "stay-at-home [parent]"?)

this transitional decade may cause some friction for modern couples. imagine Minnie, a girl with a promising career, and Mickey, a working guy who isn't quite sure if this is what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

• Mickey thinks he's marrying a career-woman-for-life. He's happy that they're on track for a comfortable life together with upward earning potential. He's in for a surprise when he finds out they're going to be a single-income household.
  
• Minnie enjoys her work, but feels strongly that children need a full-time parent to ensure they develop to their full potential. She always intended to stop working once she had kids. She's in for a surprise when she finds out Mickey needed some more time to find his ideal career and isn't ready to earn enough to support their family alone.
  
• Is it wrong for Minnie to be "traditional" and assume she'd be the stay-at-home parent by default? and even if it makes more sense for her to be the working parent, what if Mickey just seems incapable of being a good parent or keeping a clean home?
  
• Is it wrong for Mickey to expect he could have equal option to be the stay-at-home parent since Minnie is so good at her work and has the higher income? and why can't they just live more modestly if it does have to be his income, so he doesn't have to be miserable at a corporate job?
  

you may think communication is enough to avoid such friction. but who would dump their mate just because they don't see eye to eye on breadwinning responsibilities?

note: for R's sake, this is not about us.